You know, I thought I would go into this whole prep screaming from the rooftops about my progress, telling everyone every detail of my life from how I was feeling to what I was eating to what I was working out and when.
But I didn’t.
By the time I was about 6 weeks out (my last post) I was overcome with doubt. I felt like I would never get to where I wanted or needed to be to take the stage. I wanted to give up and I wanted to convince myself that it just wasn’t worth all the trouble.
But for some reason I didn’t.
Instead of sharing my feelings with you all, I kept it inside. I kept quiet. I got frustrated, but I also got to work.
I hit the cardio hard. Hit the weights. I struggled through many fights with my boyfriend about the stupidest things because I had suddenly turned angry from all the dieting, all the exercise and none of the good stuff (sleep, sex or food).
I was allowed one cheat meal at about 5 weeks out during which I consumed lots of pizza: It was good.
I struggled with low energy at work while I transitioned to a new role within the company, which really ran me ragged. Trying to focus and learn a new area on very little food and very little energy is not an easy task. At about 4.5 weeks out I told myself, “This is just how you’re going to feel. You are going to feel shitty.”
I ate lots of chicken and lots of vegetables. I started carb cycling at 4 weeks out. I added some new supplements to my regime: a new thermo, more BCAA’s, L-Carnitine and some Glutamine.
On the weekends I worked out. During the week, I worked out. Before work I worked out. After work I worked out. And when I wasn’t working out I was at work. Or I was cooking chicken or at the grocery store.
And now here I am: 2 weeks out. I am 2 pounds away from my goal weight. I feel pretty damn good. I have been practicing posing. I have my hair and makeup appointment set. I have my bottles of tanner ready to go. I have my “tan plan” all set. I still need to get my jewelry.
The only cruddy thing is that I got my suit in the mail today and I think it’s too small…
On to the next battle, right? Let’s see if I can fix this one…