I have to admit: I have had some doubts during the past few weeks of prep.
I felt sure that I was getting leaner but the scale was not moving progressively downward, which played some tricks with my head. I could see my abs coming out in the right light, my butt was tightening up, but as far as the scale was concerned…
One day I would be at 152, the next day: 151, the next day 153. It was like that for about 2 – 3 weeks. I thought for sure I was doing something wrong. I was probably eating too much, I was stagnating – what was going on?
In my head my thoughts were: I’m not making enough progress.
So yesterday I emailed the photo below to my trainer and my coach. This was the photo from last Sunday. I was checking my email every 5 minutes to see what they would say and when I did receive their responses, they were both incredibly positive.
I told them that I wasn’t losing weight and they both said that it was very possible I was still gaining muscle but that I definitely looked leaner.
Thank you, Figure Gods!
My coach said that I could up my cardio to 45 minutes a session from 30 for the next week before we have our in-person check in. I am also being extremely careful to keep my macros and calories in check. I never deviated far, but there were a few days where I was a little over.
Last night I did the full 45 minutes after my “resting day lift” of bis and tris. I followed macros to a T. This morning what did I find when I stepped on the scale? 150.6!
I have not seen that number since my weight was on the way up during the bulking phase. Although I know not to live by the scale, this means that my body is changing.
Last night, my boyfriend told me that my legs were definitely looking tighter and the other night in the gym someone who I hadn’t seen in a while came up to me and said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look good! I remember when you first came in here and you look great! You’re consistent, making progress.”
I needed that.
Here we go! Finishing out the 5th week of cutting on Sunday. I am out of town this weekend, going home to visit my Grandmama for her 96th birthday! I will post a new photo early next week – looking forward to seeing what’s happening.
What’s going on with your prep?
Every once in a while, my Grandmother will laugh and remind me that as a young girl I used to say, “One day, when I grow up and my bosoms get very very big, I will wear a bra.”
While I am still waiting for that big bosom day to come, I find it quite hilarious that I am excited by the idea that one day, as a grown up, when my muscles are very very big, I will wear a sparkly bikini and have an amazingly dark spray tan.
I have been eating like nobody’s business for the past 3 months. I have put on a considerable amount of weight and am now tipping the scales at 160 (previously 143).
My jeans are tight, I can’t fit into my favorite cocktail dress any more and leggings and black drapey dresses have become my new best friends.
I am not fat. I am just stronger.
I can’t say that I hate the way that I look, but after years of being “skinny,” I’m still getting used to the bigger, better me.
“How do you think you look?” my trainer asked me the other night as I rested between a set of cleans. We were both looking at me in the mirror.
I had had a long day at work. I was sweating and felt bloated.
“I think that this is a skinny mirror and that I look a lot different than what we’re seeing. I think my legs look really puffy and bloated and big and that my arms look skinny and small. “ He looked at me like I was crazy. “I mean, I think I’m making progress though…How do you think I look?”
“I can never tell with you, Berry,” he said. “Some days you come in here and are like, ‘I am a MONSTER’ and then other days you come in and are like, ‘Meh…I feel fat.’”
More often than not, though, I’m a monster.
“You look good.”
When I was warming up, one of the other trainers at the gym who I have been chatting with quite regularly walked out of the men’s locker room and did a double take. “Lookin’ good!” he said, “Coming along nicely.”
That made me happy. Looking at my body every day I see changes here and there, but having not seen this guy for 3 weeks and then him tell me he sees progress, too, is a great thing to hear.
I just have to keep on pushing.
My legs are coming along nicely as well as my glutes. My butt has morphed from two pancakes into two dinner rolls.
Disappointingly, my shoulders are the slowest part to develop and also the most important. I train them like no body’s business but they are slow to arrive.
I was told to add creatine to my diet last week and today rounds out the 7th day. Just about 3g on average. My workouts are more powerful and I’m hoping this will help push me into the next muscular development level. We shall see.
My six pack has vanished but I swear at times I can still see it. I know this weight will come off in about 3 months when I start prep and I’m excited for it. I have a strong base that is getting stronger by the day and I know I can make this work.
Sleeping was not easy last night. A lot of tossing and turning. I got back from the gym around 10PM (on Valentine’s Day, mind you) after an hour-long commute.
The gym where I train is in Midtown East and I live on the Upper West Side. After my workout, I throw on my sweats and hop on the bus with my bags full of clothes and empty Tupperware. It’s an easy (but long) commute with my book or my iPod and offers some nice decompression time and a chance for me to digest my post workout protein shake before my final meal for the day.
Last night was legs, but I was not feeling so hot and was kind of fearing my performance.
I received a Tetnus shot earlier in the day and had a pretty bad headache (which I never get) and I was feeling nauseous. I had only been able to eat 3 of my normal 5 meals before heading to the gym because work was insane and I was at the doctor all morning for my physical.
I anticipated a so-so workout, but was able to kick out an awesome one – what a great surprise! My trainer actually said that he was happy with how my body was changing – exciting!! – and I can see it, too.
We talked about getting me set up to go into pre-contest mode, but we want to see how much size I can get in the next couple of months first.
I feel like I’m getting somewhere and feel good about this partnership. Not because he’s telling me I’m doing well, but because I can see that this is working.
When I arrived home it was time for some food, so I prepped a scramble of 1 egg with 5 egg whites, arugula, cherry tomatoes and a little tiny bit of mozzarella cheese. On the side I had two Wasa Light Rye crackers with a little humus and some Beverly International UMP Protein pudding for desert.
After cleaning up the dishes from dinner and washing my Tupperware and shaker bottles from the day, I started to pack my meals for Wednesday only to realize that I had no brown rice or sweet potatoes prepared. Knowing that I had no choice, I decided to cook all the brown rice left in my apartment (I was not in the mood for sweet potato preparation, nor did I have sweet potato patience).
I jumped in the shower while my rice did its thing and by 11:30 my meals were complete and my rice, gone.
By 11:45 I was in bed with the lights out but my brain would not turn off. My eyes were wandering all over the insides of my eyelids and I just wouldn’t sleep.
I tossed and turned, I woke up around 2AM, I fell back asleep and then awoke at 6AM on the dot (my alarm was set for 7:45) and I was as awake as I would normally be at noon.
Why, when we have the luxury of sleeping in do our bodies not want to comply?
So I’m up. I took some Advil (still had the headache) and ate my protein pancake. I’ll get an early start today and hopefully hit the sack early. Today is my rest day and I’m hoping my body will take the rest.
How do you wind down after a PM workout?